Love yourself, modifying your lifestyle.
Female in their 30's, single, America.
Inner Wisdom.
Have you ever had the feeling that certain decisions you make seem not to be the best and yet you perform them? And of course the end result is negative, something that you know beforehand ... but then why not to opt for something different?
I think we all feel this day to day, but some people have more ability to know how to select situations that lead to increased growth and welfare.
After finishing an unexpected and dramatic relationship with my then already fiancé, I began to question all my decisions, to seek answers to my many thoughts: Why didn´t we work together?, Why after almost 5 years together I finally saw clearly our incompatibility?, Why if I had given myself entirely to the relationship it had been not enough?, Why our split out made me feel liberated?, Why despite the break up pain, illusions lost, etc.; I knew deep inside it was right? And why the sole idea of giving us another chance caused me a feeling of suffocation and pain?
No doubt that during crisis, it is the best option to seek for help and support, which I am very grateful to have found within my family, friends, acquaintances, psychologist, colleagues, good books and life itself. My search for answers and comprehension of what I have lived, led me to finally understand myself and see the whole situation from a different perspective and analyse what I have done in that relationship and in my personal life for five years, and as people say: "the one who seeks, finds” ; but sometimes you don’t like what you find.
That's how I understood that “inner wisdom” exists, and in general, all human beings possess it as a survival instinct and to pursuit happiness; because, who in their right mind wants to be unhappy? And what I thought was the most surprising, was to realize that our body gives us signals to achieve "going in to the right direction".
I am a physician, and in order to understand this I had first to start a daily introspection, to "listen to my body". Perhaps this sounds very simple and logic, but I realized that for me it wasn’t; actually with the hustle of everyday life, and in the world so debased and materialistic in which I lived, I was a complete ignorant of myself, I was unaware of my feelings. So I became really interested on this topic and I decided to learn more about emotional intelligence.
I realized that this tightness in my throat, that weakness, fatigue and spontaneous flu; it was nothing but intense pain and the result of my sorrow for breaking up, and the intense grief and disappointment that I was experience; Once I finally listened to my pain I cried, cried and cried every time I needed, I also wrote a lot to vent when I was alone, it was a way to tease out this feeling, to get rid of him.
Then I understood that the burning sensation in my stomach, burning hot, intense gastritis, resulted in a feeling of anger, courage, stored anger I had against myself and against my inability to set boundaries, to hear that sixth sense that had warned me three years before what was wrong and I had ignored ... So besides taking medicine and changing my diet, I downloaded in various activities (therapy, exercise, scream, etc.) to fade it.
Now, I try not to ignore annoying feelings as I always did, I try to accept, confront and learn the positive in each; and I enjoy more my positive feelings and try to keep them, because it is thanks to them that I’m learning to be more assertive in my decision making. And yes "what doesn’t destroy you makes you stronger."
Today I try every day to calm my thoughts and feelings and listen to my body. This knowledge has helped me to become a better doctor, to listen more to my patients, empathize with them and give better handling.
I am very grateful to life because of what I thought was a failure, it was only the beginning of a positive change in me, in my relationship with others, while I listen to my inner wisdom I deal every day to achieve that feeling of fulfilment and happiness. And I cannot say it has been easy, but the daily challenge and the satisfaction of succeed make me feel a comfortable heat throughout my body, quiet, calm, inner peace that I translate into happiness; whenever I lose this feeling, I'm willing to listen, accept what I feel and understand it to find the way back to wellbeing (mind-body-spirit balance).
